Too Close for Comfort

Hi sassy friends. How are you doing? How are you holding up? How are you taking care of yourselves as the world seems to be serving up a steady meal of chaos? It's just really a lot. A word of caution about today's post- it is my own cathartic processing- my own spiritual practice trying to make sense of a tiny piece of the chaos. I hope there is a nugget of something in it for you too- regardless, thanks for being here.

Last week, a democratic leader was assassinated in her home along with her husband and her beloved golden retriever. Another leader and his spouse and daughter were gunned down in their homes and Minnesota's largest ever manhunt was initiated. When I woke the morning after the shootings, I found myself unable to move off of the couch as I watched an endless news stream. I kept thinking of the lives lost, the sheer horror of it all, and the fact that this perpetrator of evil and hate was on the loose. As I watched the feed and scrolled through facebook, a note popped up from in my neighborhood feed- "did anyone else see the police. sheriff, and swat team go flying through town?" That felt too close for comfort. Evil was captured just 40 miles from my peaceful farm. Again too close for comfort.

The second helping of chaos came from mother nature. All day Monday the weather service had been forecasting a turbulent evening of storms. From the radar late afternoon, it looked like it would head north of us. My husband had band practice that night and was about to leave as the sky got darker. Another check of radar and it was for sure skirting north of us. "Go" I said. "We will be fine. It's going North- probably just going to rain hard." He left. He texted not long after to say that it looked really dark by our house and he could come back if he needed. I told him to just keep going. We were good. Five minutes later, the tornado sirens went off. To the basement with the salty teenager, 5 dogs, and the ornery cat. I listened to the am station, waiting for an update. They said a tornado was spotted on the ground between my town and the next. After the all clear was lifted, I returned upstairs. All was fine on the farm. Not a leaf out of place and hardly any rain. It was much later when pictures started flooding the neighborhood facebook page that I realized the tornado was literally in the field right by our farm. Minimal to no damage was done, but again- too close for comfort.

On Wednesday night, I was driving in northern Minnesota returning to the cabin for the night after visiting with three of our churches. It was a gorgeous evening and the drive was beautiful. It was about 8pm and I knew it was prime time to be watching the ditches for deer out for their evening strolls. I was deep into a book on audible and driving along highway 10 without any other traffic. Suddenly, my eye caught something black 'blowing' in the ditch. Turned out it was a big ole black bear intent on crossing the highway. I swerved (and swore) he and I made eye contact and we both kept following our own trajectory- thankfully not into each other. It was a moment of panic, of beauty, of luck, of curiosity that made me wish I had a picture. It was too close for comfort.

And then we arrive at this Saturday, the leader of our country has bombed another country. We are on high alert for retaliation. This is chaos of a whole new level. This close to war is too close for comfort. I have had to distance myself from the constant speculation, fear mongering and apocalyptic narrative that is all too pervasive. Truth it seems is hard to find.

The truth I do know is that when the world serves up too much chaos, too close for comfort, I am called to wrap my faith around me like a comforting blanket. I am called to lean into the beauty of the natural world around me. The call of the loons on the lake, the beauty of the sunrise in the cool of the morning. The new life of four tiny kittens living on the front porch, and the amazing ways seeds burst forth in my garden. I am called to see the good in community. In peaceful protests and random acts of kindness. In friendships and deep conversations. In the simple act of neighbors helping neighbors. I am called to sit in the scriptures. God has been here before and our faith story gives us psalms to guide our lament, gospels to guide our compassion, and the hope of resurrection from the darkest of times. And then there is prayer. For me it's a constant, ongoing conversation with Jesus. Sometimes passionate, sometimes, snarky, sometimes fearful, sometimes joyful. Always close enough for comfort. May your faith surround you, protect you, lament with you, and give you hope. The world isn't going to stop serving the chaos and it will often feel too close for comfort. Remember to gather your faith in close enough for comfort.